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I have been friends with a woman, a person who's overcome many hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she's repeatedly caught off guard by others. Her husband left her, which came as a massive blow. Several of her social circle vanished at that point, as they were focused solely on her husband. This surprised her deeply. She made increased attention in our friendship, and must have realised more acutely the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, several of her friends have disappeared leaving her knowing the cause. The company she worked for turned on her, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, she departed not understanding the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, we've both left the workforce so we're spending each other more, however, I feel my role between us is as the audience. I start subjects and she changes the talk toward what interests her. Regarding political views, she holds strong opinions. I try to suggest factchecking and alternate views.

She is planning a vacation abroad I've visited many times and resided in for a while. My intention was to share advice, but this was not welcomed. She really only wanted my agreement with her decisions. I've just come back from a month in that place she is eager to reconnect, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate in this role who cuts and runs abruptly, but I don't think she will ever understand the impact of her behaviour on my confidence. Currently, my state is distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

One option is to cut and run, yet this is not often a smooth outcome we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of resolution demands strength and openness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step involves describing how things go in your conversations. This needs to be as factual as possible and essentially an unbiased account. The second is to express the way it affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no dispute here. Your feelings are your feelings, of course. The third step is to ask how you are both can shift the interaction of your friendship."

Keep in mind that she also has her own side, so you need to stay open to hear that. One effective method is telling your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to remain silent for a set time."

This can be impactful in fostering mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

She might reject all you say, since certain individuals have a “survival narrative”: they rely on a version of their life they're unable to let go of since their identity depends upon it and it represents they've known. This poses a challenge because there's no thoroughfare with these people, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could at first react this way then consider about what you've said. And should you don't achieve a resolution, you'll have peace knowing you were truthful.