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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?